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Humorous

Remain or Leave

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Speeches

One banana at a time

Categories
Speeches

My Grandpa and my hobbies

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Speeches

Meow

Categories
Evaluation

Evaluation contest

Categories
Workshop

Evaluate to Motivate

The second Toastmasters Club Officer Training in 2018-19 provides educational sessions for the benefit of the club officers.

I had an opportunity to do an workshop on “Evaluate to Motivate” from the Successful Club Series.

I had fun preparing and putting together the material for it.

I took some motivation from Mel Kelly for Evaluation speech templates and Florian Mueck for Feedback formulas.

We had a fun and interactive workshop with club officers from 4 to 5 clubs from Munich and Rosenheim.

Here are some pictures and the presentation itself:

 
  Presentation as PDF: Click here
Categories
Humorous

Two Left Feet

Two left feet

I was born a great dancer.
Let me show you some sexy steps.
Contest chair, fellow toastmasters and guests!
I firmly believed I was a great dancer.
Don’t you think so?

In the last year of university, we had one chance to dance with women.
The dance that we had to do was a step to the left and step to the right.
Sounds easy, doesn’t it!
This is how, it looked on me.
Step to the left and step to the right.
Step to the left and step to the right.
Step to the left and step to the right.
Every time I took a step to the left, my right went along.
The dance club members made fun of me and said –
No, you cannot dance. You have two left feet.
They even called my dance moves “the duck walk”.
Until then I thought I could even do the moon walk.
Thank you.
Has anyone told you that you can’t dance, that you can’t do something that you love?

After university, I moved to Germany and I got a job.
In IT.
Like all Indians.
My love life was going nowhere.
How would it? In India, my mother would have found a woman for me.
My friend told me that you can meet women in dance schools.
I signed up for the basic course in Salsa, which would make me dance like Antonio Banderas.
The guy signing us up for the courses gave me one look and said:
No, you cannot dance. You do not have a dance partner.
In walked an Italian goddess. She was the teacher.
She looked at me and said – You look cute. You can dance with me. I know, I used to look cute when I was much younger.
She gave me a chance to dance.
Every time my right foot moved to the left, she moved to my right. When I saw her move to right, my right foot magically moved to the right too.
She had fixed my two left feet. It is amazing what Italian women can fix for you.

Charged with Italian charm, I went to dance in a bar to try out my moves.
I walked across the room, to a woman and asked her – Would you like to dance?
She told me she was thirsty and having a break.
Then I was looking out for somebody who did not look thirsty.
I walked to another woman and asked her – Would you like to dance?
She told me that the room was too hot to dance.
And I said, is it hot in here or is it just you? She didn’t seem to like that line. I don’t know why!
Finally, one woman took pity and danced with me. Halfway through the dance she stopped dancing with me. I don’t know why!
That crushed my male ego!
I took a LONG LONG break from dancing.
Did you take a break from something you loved and never got back to it?

Two years passed. I had forgotten the pain. I went back to another dance school.
There was no Italian teacher, but I saw this woman standing alone looking for a dance partner.
She had a drink, so she was not thirsty.
The air conditioning was on, so she was not feeling hot.
I asked her – Would you like to dance?
She looked down and said that she had two left feet.
Really! – “That is my line”.
Come on, let us try to dance.
Step to the left, step to the right.
Step to the left, step to the right.
This was working.
German women can fix things too!
Step to the left, step to the right.
Do four left feet make two right feet?
In our case it did, and we are still dancing.
Two people with two left feet got together and made it right.
 “Go out there, find your dance and give your dance a chance”
Categories
Standup

Standup Comedy

My name is Ranjith. I come from India and of course I do IT support.
How many doing IT support here? Okay, How many software consultants here?
(Pick one and ask what they do. Do you have neck pain?)
I had neck pain last year. So, I went to my house doctor.
How many of you have heard of the term “house doctor”? In Germany, your family doctor is called the house doctor. The first time I heard it, I thought the house doctor is the one who treats you at home. When I called my house doctor and asked him when he could visit me at home, he said that would not be possible. I made an appointment with him for my neck pain.
He checked my neck and said, you are Indian – Do Yoga.
I said, I am Indian – that is why I do not do yoga.
Yoga is what we export to countries like Germany.
I tried Yoga in Munich once for 90 minutes.
They did Yoga for 90 minutes.
No talk, no messing about, just plain Yoga and I was half-dead by the end of it.
In India, if the yoga session is for 90 minutes.
You start around 30 minutes late.
You do yoga for 15 minutes, have a tea break for 15 minutes, do another round of yoga for 15 minutes and then talk for last 15 minutes.
We talk, mess about and by end we are still alive.
And that is how we achieve inner peace!
Back to my doctor. He said, forget the Yoga – do swimming.
I grew up in India with quality entertainment.
Hollywood movies with George Clooney, Bollywood movies with Shah Rukh Khan and Baywatch.
I always wanted to be a lifesaver like David Hasselhoff and preferably run behind Pamela Anderson.
So, I put on my gear for the swimming pool.
I got out my faithful Birkenstock with socks.
To complete the picture, I needed a bag.
Not just any bag, I bag which would advertise that I was integrated, that I had arrived in Germany.
I picked up a shining ALDI bag.
Somehow my Birkenstock and ALDI combination did not go well with the police car that pulled over.
They stopped me and said “Ausweis, Bitte”. Who takes their identification card to the swimming pool?
I heard the Germans even take the Ausweis to the Sauna. Where would you possibly keep it?
I waved my Aldi bag and showed off my Birkenstock sandals. the police officer did not look impressed.
He said again “ausweis, bitte”
I put in my hands in my pocket to take out my wallet.
I was glad this is Germany. if it was the us, I might have been shot for putting my hands in my pocket.
I come from India. I thought I should give them a small bribe so that they let me go.
But i remembered the German integration course which said that you should not bribe the German police.
If you are polite and have the paperwork, the German police will leave you alone. i had the politeness, but was missing the paperwork.
The police said I will have to go with them for a ride.
I was so excited. I had never been on a BMW car. this was brand new BMW car with blinkers and sirens.
I was so important that one of the policemen opened the door for me. they even locked my side of the door so that I do not fall out.
One sat next to me for company. one was driving. I thought it was pretty cool to be chauffeured around.
I was hoping that the blinkers and sirens would go on, but I was not important enough.
the police took me to my apartment and checked my passport. what happened afterwards surprised me. I was walking to the swimming pool when they stopped me. now they drove me all the way to the swimming pool and dropped me in front of it.
I must say, the German police are really great, if you are polite and you have the paperwork.
to all the Indians and brown people, if you want a free ride to anywhere in a shining BMW, come to me for some fashion advice
Categories
Storytelling

Storytelling

Categories
Speeches

Be yourself